France rules. I am forever changed, but I suspect that, as of now, I'm not quite sure what that means.
Sold out shows. A mention in Le Monde! An incredible response from the audience, which incuded a high percentage of youth. The youth here (and therefor the adults who precede them) have no context in which to question themselves. I was told again and again that the line toward the end of the show, "Let's think about it. What could you become?" was a highlight.
The simplest question in the entire piece.
Ok, I know I said I wouldn't talk about work here...but this is profound personal stuff too.
I've been approached by several agents of other theaters in France who immediately wanted to book the show. After the fingernail-pulling effort of the last two years with this show, I am simply amazed. They don't even question the content: it just is, and they think the work is good, and am I available in March?
Yes, Antipodes Festival, I am. Thank you very much. Oh, and you'll cover all the expenses, no problem? Mais oui! Oh, and you want to introduce me to whom? This director and that professor, who may be interested in collaborating with me in the future? Porquois pas?
Are US ADs just very conservative, or underestimating of their audiences, or is it just that I'm in France and they're different here when it comes to queer stuff? Don't get me wrong, this is not an open society when it comes to LGBTQ issues, pas de tout.
Also, France is nowhere near the level of gender studies that we have in the US. Which seems odd to me, because it started here. Here, I'm a kind of expert.
Forgive me, I don't mean to ring my own bell. I'm reporting the experience, which I have received with mostly incredulity and sometimes total wide-eyed disbelief.
This is all to say that I've received a kind of respect here that I didn't even know could be possible, given my experience so far as a US artist. It goes beyond haggling over costs, justifying my content choices, and convincing different powers that be that my work deserves their time, energy, and expense. It goes beyond those things, because those things haven't even figured in to this entire experience. People don't lose your DVD here, people actually read your emails and consider your proposals. And more than anything, they--other artists, the institutional gatekeepers, and the audience--talk to you like a professional who is making important choices with your work, and thus making a valuable contribution to culture and society. Critiques are based on that criteria: what does it contribute? Not whether it deserves to be shown at all.
So, like I said, big stuff to consider. But I've never felt so damn proud, and also humble, and also inspired. I get that it's not a utopia, I see that clearly enough. But it may be a place where I can do what my art-heart wants...barring that, perhaps I can get some self-esteem armor for it at least, and that would sure do a lot for me. I need some more time here.
Oh wait, I'm getting it. I have to stay until Tuesday so I can do 15 minutes on the show that's like Letterman for the arts. Channel 2, here I come!
